Today is a fantastic day! I am feeling alive and motivated to take on my responsibilities. As the day continues, I will be practicing speaking my mind openly and honestly, and having a nice conversation with my father at Starbucks. :) Growing and maturing into the Gay Male God always wanted me to be, and living life to the fullest while meeting my own expectations in the art of self discipline, in order to become a better person than I was yesterday. Each day continues to show me new doors that are open, as well as new feelings that have been lost inside of me the entire time I was pretending to be straight. I hope you can benefit from my expression of emotion even if you are straight or a girl. I do believe we are all equals, and should treat each other exactly the same way we would want to be treated. May God bless your heart today with strength, courage, and LOVE as you continue to learn and grow as well. Ready, Set, Grow!

With love, Kevin.

<3

I was baptized as a mormon 1 year ago, and chose to follow their beliefs as closely as i could, thinking that if i did enough good in the world, Maybe God could change me and make me straight. So i continued believing that this was the one and only way to change. Instead i only continued to build up lies and put on as many acts and shows as i could to distract anyone from thinking I was Gay. Although being Gay is now widely accepted in the U.S., my main struggle was with God. I was following the bible to a T and decided that Gays went to hell. I realize this is contradictory to a God who claims to be righteous and unchanging. Also fair. I couldn’t believe he would make me this way and then tell me I couldn’t have love, Romance, or any other basic desires of any human being. My thoughts raced to fight against any and all thoughts related to homosexuality thinking the change would please God, though what I was really doing was learning to become a pathological liar. It did take a hospital visit, and a rock bottom ending before I was able to truly start living! I testify to you i did see a spirit realm, I did see death, and I did hear God’s voice. “Come Home.” Was all i heard. The entirity of my body mind and soul shook at the sound in awe of such majestic Omnipotence. I awoke from my deep sleep and was ready to admit to myself the secret I thought  I had hidden so well. I’m Gay; was all i could say. I looked at my hands, my feet and ran to the mirror. I was staring at the real me for the first time in my entire life! No more did I have pain from past memories, no longer did wish I could just die from the guilt that had built itself up inside of me. I was ready to live my first day in my body, instead of a foriegn one. This was to be the first day I saw the world for what it was. :)

myself